It's ok...

I was having a pretty rough morning when I got to MOMS today. I was so thankful to be there, among so many sisters in Christ. I knew, no matter who was speaking or what the message was about, I would leave feeling much better than I did when I arrived. As always, I did. 

I don't know how it happens but I can go from happy to sad in a split second so, even though I left MOMS feeling much better, by the afternoon I was feeling blue all over again. But that changed again after spending some time with my lovely mentor. She is so faithful to point me to Christ and encourage me on my journey. We discussed God's grace (unmerited favor.) I've known what grace is for years but today it sunk in on a whole new level. 

Even though I know God's grace is an undeserved free gift, for some reason I am always trying to earn it. When I think I haven't earned it, I am so hard on myself. Today I realized that if I mess up, its ok. If the house is a wreck, its ok. If my "to do" list doesn't get checked off, its ok. If I don't earn the mother of the year award, its ok. If I don't make it to water aerobics, its ok. If there are 7 piles of laundry waiting to be folded, its ok. If I don't look like a supermodel, its ok. If I don't have a meat and 2 vegetables for dinner, its ok. If the boys are wearing mismatched socks, its ok. If I can't make it to every Bible study or to church every Wednesday night, its ok. If I forget something, its ok.

Its ok because God loves me even though I mess up. Its ok because even if I did everything perfectly, I still couldn't earn God's grace. When I mess up and I am ridiculously hard on myself, its like I am saying that God's grace isn't enough. Oh how that thought breaks my heart because His grace is sufficient!

Today I am thankful for my sisters in Christ. These women are such a blessing to me. They probably don't even know how grateful I am that they are apart of my life. God uses these ladies in so many beautiful ways. They point me to Jesus and help me keep my eyes fixed on Him. I am also thankful for God's amazing grace. There is nothing I could every do to earn it and there is nothing I can ever do to lose it. How mind boggling is that? If I can just get my mind to stay wrapped around that amazing idea, my life would be forever changed.