A Life of Gratitude

Yesterday I went to the movie theater to watch Lifemark with my husband and oldest son. It’s a beautiful movie, depicting a true adoption story. I encourage everyone to see the film, but as I watched it, my heart was torn in two. Like the birth mother in the movie, I was a teenager when I discovered I was pregnant. Like her, I felt hopeless and ended up at the abortion clinic. Like her, I put on the dingy white gown and laid on the table as the doctor rolled the stool close to me. But unlike her, I stayed on the table. Unlike her, I didn’t have the courage to get up. Unlike her, I let the abortionist rip my baby from womb. I’ve spent a lot of time over the years thinking about my baby, wondering what life would have been like if I had chosen to keep her, but for some reason I’ve never really thought about what life would be like if I had chosen adoption. Lifemark caused a flood of thoughts and emotions to wash over me as I considered how my baby could have been a blessing to so m

Today is my 40th birthday.  I've never cared much about my age. I've always viewed it as the number of years since I was born, plain and simple. But for some reason, FORTY hits different. Maybe its because now I'm considered "middle-aged" or because I used to think forty was old. Maybe its because its time for my first mammogram. Or maybe its because I remember my mom turning forty, which is around the same time my parents got divorced.  In the weeks proceeding this milestone birthday, Proverbs 31:25b has repeatedly popped in my head.  "She laughs without fear of the future." This verse is talking about the infamous "Proverbs 31 Woman," who is the perfect example of a wife and mother who lives her life in a remarkable way. She is a virtuous woman who takes care of herself and others, has her priorities in order, works hard, and does many wonderful deeds. Most importantly, she lives her entire life with the desire to honor and serve the Lord.  A