Enough.

This morning, during our worship service, we sang a song that really touched my heart. We've sang it before and I've always liked it, but today was different. Part of the song says, "Christ is enough for me. Christ is enough for me. Everything I need is in You. Everything I need." As I sang those lyrics, I began to ask myself, "Really? Is Christ enough for you, Tori?" 

I've been having such a hard time with this pregnancy. I've been so sick and weak and just plain tired. I've also been battling doubt and frustration over my seemingly never-ending worker's comp case. Plus, we've been searching for our next home and we're having a difficult time finding what we need in our price range. This has caused me to feel very panicked. It's no excuse, but being pregnant has really added to my impatience and frustration. Every mom wants to be settled in her own home when a baby comes and I'm no different. I'm just being honest when I say, I don't think I could be more ready to find a house and start moving in! I don't want to be impatient. I know its not a pretty quality. What I want is to be fully trusting and completely content. But, my feelings are real. I'm sick and weak and incredibly ready to see God's plans begin to unfold. 

So, here is where today's question comes in. Is Christ enough for me? Really? In the nitty, gritty. In the middle of the waiting and all the questions. Along with the nausea and the "to do" list that is going undone. With my lack of strength and all the "what-ifs." Is Christ honestly enough for me? 

When I looked at my heart this morning and answered that question honestly, the answer was no. I hate to say it but I'm being transparent because I believe God wants us to be that way. When life gets consumed with feeling ill and being worried and waiting and wanting more, God quietly gets pushed to the back and suddenly He isn't all we seek. BUT--He didn't walk away, I did. And praise His Holy Name, I can come back. He is still here. Still stretching His arms out toward me. Still reminding me that He is all I really need.  Of course, I still want to my case to settle and to find the perfect house but those things aren't what I need. I also hope I don't throw up even one more time but if I do, Jesus is still enough. He is all I need. 

Today I am thankful that God never moves. When we get sidetracked and loose our focus, God remains. We just have to turn back to Him. He always there waiting for us, wooing us, and celebrating when we return. I am also thankful for God's gentle correction in my life. When I get off track, He is faithful to redirect me. I am thankful for friends who come to the altar to pray with me and for the prayers they lift up on my behalf. Mostly, I am thankful that Christ is enough for me. While I'd love to for things to move at a faster pace and for the perfect house to come onto the market and for the morning sickness to end, none of these things are what I really need. Christ is all I need. He is more than enough. 

Enough.