A Life of Gratitude

Almost 2 weeks ago I shared my big, dark, ugly secret right here on the internet for the entire world to see. I was expecting to feel judged and mocked and ridiculed for sharing my secret. I knew God wanted me to share my story but I never imagined all that He would do with it in such a short time! Within 24 hours of writing that blog, I had 3 people reach out to me with similar stories. Within a few days, 1300 people had read the blog and countless folks had shared an encouraging word with me. I expected to feel belittled and uncomfortable but instead, God quickly allowed me to feel loved and accepted and free from all shame and embarrassment. Over these past, almost, two weeks, I have been overwhelmed by the response to my secret. Satan  made me believe that I was the only person that had such a deep dark thing in my past. He caused me to believe that sharing my story would only cause people to judge and dislike me. Boy, was he wrong! God has used my story to comfort others

Some secrets have a way of putting down roots in our hearts and building up walls in our lives. Even though we move past these types of secrets, they are always there, haunting us and keeping us from experiencing true freedom. I have had this type of secret for 17 years.  Even as I write this, I am doubting whether I should write this. But then I look to my Savior and I see how far He has brought me in these past 17 years and I know that He wants to set me free from the cage this secret has built around me. The way to freedom in this case, is transparency, because I may not be the only one with this dark secret and Jesus wants me to share the freedom I've found. I know this secret will shock many and possibly cause hard feelings from some, but I can't worry about that now. Not sharing my story at this point, would be much worse than sharing it.  17 years ago I got really, really sick. I was in bed for days and couldn't keep any food down. My mom took me to the

I saw the picture above earlier today and it touched  my heart because it so true for me. As I look around at my home, I can't help but think of the years I spend praying for the home God had for our family. When I look at my husband, I think of the 8 years we dated before we got married and how many times I prayed that if it was God's will, our years of "boyfriend and girlfriend" would lead to the day we could say "I do." When I look at these sweet boys, I remember all the days and nights I prayed for the babies God would bless us with.  There is a whole lot about my life that I never imagined. God has given me countless blessings that I never even dreamed of. But there are also sooooo many answered prayers right here, in this house with me. God hears us. He sees us. He provides for us. He is working things out for us! He isn't absent or disengaged. He isn't oblivious to or annoyed by our prayers. If we take time to look around, we'll s

There really is nothing like spending time alone with my Jesus. This morning, after reading my Bible, I did my yoga routine outside while listening to worship music. It was so peaceful and so fulfilling. I could feel the Holy Spirit with me. I didn't want that time to end. Of course, with three the little boys waking up and wanting breakfast, it couldn't last forever. I honestly cannot wait until tomorrow to do it again! I felt refreshed and ready for the day. Life is busy. Things are crazy. And let's be honest, we're tired. I've had every excuse in the book. But I'm telling you, God has proven to me that there is nothing like spending some time alone with Him! We all have desires and needs that only God can fulfill. If we don't allow Him to, the world will fill us with all the wrong things. Today I am thankful that if I make time for my Savior, He will fill me up with His Spirit. His love, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, and self

Today was a super special day for me. My sweet boys made feel so loved. They bought me a new purse, flowers, made me handmade cards, took me out to lunch, and then took to me to two of my favorite places this afternoon, the Bicentennial Gardens and the Arboretum. There is something about these beautiful places. I just love visiting them with my boys! This evening I got  a pedicure and then my boys made me an ice cream sundae! As I spent the day with my boys, my heart kept bubbling up with gratitude. I just really can't wrap my mind around the fact that God chose me, out of all the women of the world, to be the mother of these precious boys. I mean, He could have picked anyone, during any time period, but He chose me.  Life with 3 little boys isn't always easy (or calm) but remembering that I am the one that God ordained to play this vital role in my son's lives, is powerful. Even when I feel inadequate and wonder if someone else could do this better, I'm still

The past couple of days I had the opportunity to watch lots and lots of people at a Spring Folly event. People are very interesting! As I watched people of all ages, shapes, colors and sizes, pass by, God softened my heart toward them. I saw these people in a different way than usual. I started to wonder....what difficult situation are they facing this week? Have they lost a loved one? Do they suffer from a disease or chronic pain? Has their heart been broken lately? Has a friend betrayed them? Do they feel all alone? Are they having financial difficulties? Is someone physically or emotionally abusing them? Are they struggling with infertitity? Do they feel insecure or suffer from depression? Do they know that the Creator of this world loves them? I've just been noticing lately that folks of every race, age, and background are all fighting a battle of some sort. All of us have something going on in our lives. Whether we're open about it or not, none of us have an easy pe

A lot of you may know this about me but some may not so, I'll share the details... In 2006, I started having really horrible headaches in the back left side of my head. This lightening type pain was horrific. I went to doctor after doctor and I was finally diagnosed with Occipital Neuralgia, which is permanent nerve damage. It is often referred to as "the suicide disease" because of how painful and never-ending it is. Knowing this pain would never end, I started going to a neurologist in High Point. He wanted to prescribe a medication that might help but would prevent me from having children. That was NOT an option for me. So, my brother got me an appointment with a Neurosurgeon at Duke. Dr. O didn't have the best bedside manner but God used him in an amazing way in my life! At my first visit Dr. O discussed implanting a neurostimulator in my head to combat the pain. My first answer was "absolutely not" but as time went on and the pain continued, I started

"God sees each and every one of us as we eternally are." One of our Pastors said that on Sunday and I've been thinking about it ever since. Could that be true? Does God really see me as though I've already finished the race? Does He look at me and see purity? Does He only have love for me when He watches me walk through this life? Yes. Because of Jesus' sacrifice, it is finished. The old me is gone. Yes, I still mess up. Yes, I still sin. Yes, I still need His grace daily. But I am walking in freedom as a child of the One True King! He looks on me with joy and love. He is happy with what He sees. He is proud to be with me. He sees me as I eternally am. He sees me as though I am already walking the streets of gold with Him. Wow. That is so freeing. I don't have to try so hard. I can rest. He loves me. He sees me. He knows me. He cares for me. And even though I make a million mistakes each day, He chooses to look upon me and see Jesus. He is hap