Healing....

My sweet, best friend, Valerie, had a Balloon Release Memorial this evening for the baby she recently lost due to miscarriage. She asked me to come and release balloons in memory of the two babies I have in Heaven. It was such a beautiful service and the perfect evening. 

After 17 years of pretending my first baby didn't exist, honoring that child and the baby that I miscarried when I was 25, was incredibly meaningful to me. I didn't expect all the emotions that I felt and the many tears that fell but I know this experience is part of the healing that God has for me. 

I am so incredibly grateful for the freedom and healing that God is blessing me with. I am also thankful for an amazing friend who would include me in this special service that was meant for her baby. I can't even express how hard and wonderful it was, all at the same time. My heart is so glad that God has given me friends to share my grief with, who understand the sadness I feel, and just let me express my feelings instead of rushing me to get over it. He knew who I would need in my life during this time, and I am so grateful. 

To My Babies in Heaven...

I released a balloon today for each of you.

While I know they won't make it all the way to Heaven,

I pray that God will let the love attached to them

float up through the clouds to meet the two of you.

While you're running around on the streets of gold,

I hope that you feel your mother's love surrounding you. 

Please know that you have each made 

an enormous impact on my heart and my life.

I wish I could hold you and see your smiling faces,

and one day, because of God's grace, I will. 

Until then, enjoy the beautiful days spent with Jesus 

and know that there isn't a day that goes by

that I don't think of you both.

Mommy Loves You Both, always and forever   

xoxoxo