Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Not again....

...because God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.”
So we say with confidence, “The Lord is my helper; I will not be afraid." Hebrews 13:5-6

Its often said at church services or worship experiences that the people in attendance are not there by accident. I believe that is 100% true! It happened to me this weekend. We visited my dad's church in Lexington because he really wanted his church family to meet his grandchildren. During the service the Pastor taught from Hebrews 13:5-6. As soon as he began to speak my ears perked up because I had just read this passage a couple of days before. As the Pastor spoke my heart was comforted. He reminded me that even though life is hard, God is always there. God is carrying us through. God is in complete control. I'm not holding onto Him; He is holding onto me. These are things I've known for years but I needed to hear them; I needed to be reminded.

Little did I know that those words would mean a lot to mean on Monday. Once again, I started having horrific abdominal pain. It was on the same side as my gallbladder pain but the pain was lower. I was very concerned that I had done something to injure the recent surgery site. The pain worsened throughout the day and pain medicine wasn't helping. I just wanted to scream, "NOT AGAIN!"  Once Bryan got home I went to see my family doctor. She was worried that I may have appendicitis so she sent me to the ER to be monitored, to get better pain meds, and to have a CT scan of my abdomen. After spending 6 hours in the ER, my scan came back clear except for some extra fluid floating around. There is no way to determine where the fluid came from but its possible that I had an ovarian cyst that ruptured. It was really hard to be sent away in the same pain I arrived in (once again). 

As I drove to the ER, laid in the hospital gown, got more IVs and waited for tests to be done, my mind whirled with thoughts of self pity and frustration. Each time I started having those thoughts, I felt God whisper, "Never will I leave you, never will I forsake you." Those are the most comforting words. There are many faithful, wonderful people in my life but there are also plenty of flaky, self-focused people in my life that continually forget me and put everything ahead of me. It is so wonderful to know that my Heavenly Father promises to never leave me. He will not forsake me. Even in the worst situations, He is there and I do not have to be afraid!
Today I am thankful that God promised to never forsake me. It can be tempting, at times, to think that God has left us but He hasn't! I have had a rough month or so but I know God hasn't left me. I don't know His reasoning for all of this or how He will use it but I know I can trust Him and I know He is right by my side. I'm praying that this new pain will subside and I can get back to taking care of my family but regardless of what happens, I know my God is with me! He has promised to never leave me!

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