A Life of Gratitude

"A new commandment I give to you, that you love one another: just as I have loved you, you also are to love one another. By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” John 13:34-35 Today was another long day but I was finally able to see the doctor. He seemed very concerned by my condition. He wanted an emergency CT myelogram and spinal tap done but since I am a worker's compensation patient, we have to wait on approval. So, I am hoping to have the tests done tomorrow. I'm praying that the doctor will be able to clearly see what is going on and then easily "fix" me.  The waiting is very difficult but I know it will make the healing even more precious! Although today was long and painful, it was also restful. My friend, Keri, took the boys with her to Bible Study, to McDonald's for lunch and then babysat them the entire day! As much as I love having my little cutie pies running around the house, spinal hea

After another long day of bed rest, I had the energy to help give the boys a bath and put them to bed. As Dylan was saying his bedtime prayers he said, "I'm counting on you, God, to make my Mommy better!" I gotta say, I absolutely love hearing my son pray that way! He knows that we can trust God and that He is the only One we can truly count on. I've really been counting on my God today and He has definitely come through! I was very sad because I couldn't go to church this morning but God came through by allowing me to come across the perfect message for me today, while laying on my couch! I've also been worried about Dylan being cooped up in the house but God came through in that area today as well. Our friends, Jordan and Shanna, took Dylan to their home for the afternoon. They played together and watched a movie. Dylan had a blast and felt so special! God also provided a sister in Christ to bring us dinner and she also offered to drive me to my doctor&

Its really easy to look back over a difficult time in our lives and see how God has brought us through. Its entirely different to trust Him completely in the midst of a storm. After having a spinal headache for 4 weeks, being sent to the emergency room 3 times because my usual doctor is out of town, having 2 failed blood patches, and 4 days of bed rest, and still having the headache, I have been very tempted to feel as if God has forsaken me. In my mind I know that His Word says he will never leave me but in my heart, I start to feel alone and forgotten.  As I have looked back over my journal, I can see how God has been preparing me for this experience. I meditate on and journal about a verse or passage each day. When I look back, all of the past week's verses have had something to do with God's sovereignty, His comfort, His faithfulness and His promise to never forsake us. When I look over all of those now, I am comforted because God knew what was coming in my life and  He

Its been a couple of days since I've posted. I've just been so puny. I wish I could say that I'm feeling back to normal but that wouldn't be truthful. After having the second blood patch, I have improved quite a bit but I still have a headache, dizziness, and an overall gross feeling when I stand up. When I lay down, I feel great. Since there is a leak in my spinal column, it seems to leak more when I am standing or walking. I guess that's why the doctor wanted me on bed rest. Hopefully a few more days of bed rest will help the leak to heal and help my life get back to normal. This sounds crazy, I know, but caffeine helps to replenish the spinal fluid.  So, after drinking some major energy drinks, I was able to endure a trip to Chick-fil-a with my family tonight. The food was yummy, as always. Evan also learned to say, "MOOO!" He makes the most adorable face while saying it, too. I was laughing hysterically, which didn't help my headache any

It probably seems like I make this stuff up but I promise, I don't. Believe it or not, my spinal headache is back. I'm tempted to be embarrassed by yet another difficulty in my life but its real and its something I will get through by the grace of God. The doctor that did my blood patch on Friday night said it was likely that the headache would return because the spinal fluid had been slowly leaking for nearly 3 weeks. He was right, the headache has returned so, I will have another blood patch tomorrow that should completely patch the leak.  Today has been another rough day. Bryan was working from his office in Durham and I have tried my best to be a mom while enduring a spinal headache. Not only is the pain severe but the guilt of not being able to do all of the things I need or want to do for my boys is overwhelming. Tonight, when we did our family devotions, I felt like God spoke to me directly. I just have to share what we read from Jesus Calling for Kids tonight...

A few weeks ago I had an epidural injection for my back pain. When doctors do these types of injections they have to inject medicine into the epidural space which if it doesn't heal correctly will cause the spinal fluid to leak out and cause horrific headaches, better known as spinal headaches. The spinal fluid acts as a  cushion around the brain and without it, the  brain tends to sag and rubs painfully against the bony skull and causes the  blood vessels to dilate causing a great deal of pain.   I have been having headaches for almost 3 weeks now. They weren't too bad but bad enough to be annoying. I've been back to see my doctor and tried several medications but nothing has gotten rid of those headaches.  Well, on Friday, those little annoying headaches turned into the worst headache I've ever had. I tried everything I knew to try but nothing even eased the pain. Bryan said at one point, I was basically incoherent. So, he called my mom, she rushed over to watc

This afternoon, while driving in the car, we saw some beautiful clouds with sun rays shining through. It was absolutely gorgeous. When Dylan saw it he said, "Mommy, that is so pretty, isn't it? It reminds me that Jesus is going to come back soon." I'd honestly thought the same thing but I was absolutely shocked to hear him say that. So, I said, "well, you're right, He could come any time. That's why we need to tell everyone about Him, huh?" And my sweet little guy said, "yep, that is why I told my cousin Hayden about Jesus, because I want Him to  go to Heaven with us. I want everyone to come with us. I'm actually ready to go now but some people just want to stay in their houses, some people aren't ready to meet Jesus yet." I love to hear my son talk so freely about Jesus. His insight is pretty profound, too. Jesus could come back any minute but there are so many people who aren't ready. Most people are completely unawa

On Dylan's first birthday I started a tradition of watching his birth video each birthday. So today, on Evan's first birthday, I watched his birth video also. I am so grateful to have such precious memories on video. As I watched my sweet Evan's first few days in this world, I was overwhelmed with gratitude for this child.  He has brought such joy and excitement to our lives. Bryan, Dylan and I are truly blessed to have Evan in our family.  I am honestly having a hard time believing that my little guy is a year old today. It seems like only yesterday he was sleeping in his crib for the first time or eating baby food for the first time. Where does the time go?  Happy First Birthday Evan Today I am thankful for our son, Evan. He is the sweetest, most snuggly, smiley, busy, happy, easy-going, noisy, hungry, playful, little guy I've ever met. He is also the perfect little brother for Dylan! They have become such good buddies. When I was pregnant with Evan I

We rent our house every year for the furniture market so we've been staying at my mom's house for the past 7 days. It is a ton of work to get the house ready for market and its really hard on my back but I actually kind of enjoy it. It forces me to clean the house in ways I would never normally clean and the money is pretty good, too. Plus, we get a "mini get-away!" Although I don't think I'd ever want to live in Lexington again, I really do enjoy spending the week here, close to our families. I also enjoy eating at all the familiar places, being in the home I grew up in and reminiscing over my childhood.  We've also been spending some time with our grandparents while we're in town. Today Bryan's grandmother, Nana Shaw, taught me how to knit!  I never, ever , thought I'd be knitting but these days, I consider being taught anything by a grandmother, something VERY special! I don't know how my scarf will turn out, but I'm very excite

A couple of weeks ago Dylan wrote and mailed a note to his cousin, Hayden. In the letter he invited Hayden to come to church with us. He has also been praying that Hayden might come soon. So, as you can imagine, Dylan was overwhelmed with excitement when Hayden spent the night with us last night so he could come to church this morning! Dylan and his cousin, Hayden. Before the boys went to bed last night, Dylan gave Hayden a "bible" that he drew for him. Dylan has been working on this "bible" for hours. He drew pictures of Jesus as a baby, as a little boy, and as an adult. He also drew pictures of the cross. When Dylan showed the "bible" to Hayden, I suggested that he explain what the cross is. So, Dylan told his cousin that Jesus died on the cross for our sins and then Jesus rose again! He also shared 1 John 4:10 which says, "This is love. Not that we loved God but that He loved us and gave His son as a sacrifice for our sins." Dylan s

Evan had his first birthday party today!! I cannot believe he will be one year old in a few days. He had so much fun eating, opening presents, playing ball, and smashing his cake. I think everyone else had a great time also. The older kids loved the relay races. Dylan had so much fun playing with his friends that he didn't even eat his piece of cake! Evan opened tons of wonderful toys and really enjoyed seeing all of his friends and family.  Today I am thankful for the ability to celebrate our second son's 1st year of life. It truly was terrific time. I am also grateful for all of our friends and family who helped make this day so special. Happy First Birthday Evan! My Big Boy 1st Birthday cake Evan's special cake I'm one! Oh, Daddy! He's not shy.... Yum. This is good stuff. Ok, I'm done. Get me out of here... Oooo, look at all these presents. I see a ball. I think he likes his hippo riding toy.

I have said it numerous times before but I believe God enjoys speaking to me in themes. The current theme is...I will never change; I will never leave you.   Two days ago I spent my quiet time pondering Exodus 13:5. It says, "....the Lord, the God of your fathers-the God of Abraham, the God of Issac, the God of Jacob-has sent me to you. This is my name forever, the name by which I am to be remembered from generation to generation."  I love the fact that my God is the same God that Jacob, Issac, and Abraham served. He did amazing things for them and He can do the same for me. He never left them and He will never leave me.  Yesterday I was drawn to Hebrews 13:8 which says, "Jesus is the same yesterday, today, and forever." Great is His faithfulness! He never changes. From my first breath, until my last, He has always been there and will always be at work in my life. He is not fickle, like people are. He doesn't love me less when I mess up. He doesn't

This morning I rushed around to get Dylan, Evan, and myself ready for Bible Study. Once I finally got everyone bundled up in our sweaters and buckled in the car seats,  I realized that the car wouldn't start.  Ughhh... So, I unbuckled the boys and brought them back inside. Dylan was distraught. He said, "Mommy, I really wanted to go learn about Jesus today!" I was already feeling pretty bummed but his comment broke my heart. Just as I was thinking that God must not have wanted us to go to Bible Study today, I received a text from a friend. She offered to come pick me up...my boys, car seats, and all! What a sweet blessing.  Its easy to think of our "problems" as insignificant or unworthy of bothering God over. Today, however, God taught me that He cares about every detail of my life. When I don't have a way, He will provide one.  Today I am thankful for my sweet friend, Keri. It was so thoughtful of her to come and pick us up. I am also grateful

"Let them praise his name with dancing and make music to him with tambourine and harp." Psalm 149:3 When I was 3 years old I began taking dance lessons. I danced my way through elementary, middle, and high school. I absolutely loved it! At 16 years old, I started teaching the young dancers ballet, jazz, and tap. I also helped choreograph lots of dances for the Ensemble in High School. Needless to say, dance has always been a part of my life. Until college, that is. When I graduated High School, I said farewell dance. I never thought I would have the opportunity to dance in a group again. Well, God had different plans! I just love that about Him! A few weeks ago I was asked to help with the Kid's Praise Team at my church. This is a dance team made up of 4th and 5th grade students. The kids dance to worship songs and help lead the other students during the children's worship service. I was super excited when asked to help. So, I've been learning the dance

While I was cooking dinner I overheard Dylan quoting John 3:30. (He must become greater; I must become less). I wasn't sure who he was talking to so, I came into the living room and I noticed that he was "reading" his Bible. It warmed my heart so much to see him choosing to read his Bible. Not only that, he was remembering the verses we have been learning during our family devotions. As I listened to his little voice, I was filled with joy!  Someone told me recently that as I teach Dylan to read, I should remember that I have been given the privilege of teaching him how to put letters, sounds, words, and sentences together that will turn into the ability to read the Word of God. I have realized in the past few years how wonderful the Bible truly is so, I feel incredibly blessed to be the one who will teach my children to read God's Word!  Today I am thankful for the Word of God and the ability to read it. I find it amazing that God provided a written docu

This morning I came across John 16:33 which says, "I tell you this so that you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble but take heart! I have overcome the world!" What an amazing verse! We all struggle with different things from time to time and in this verse, Jesus is reassuring us. He is reminding us that having trouble is to be expected but we don't need to worry because He has already overcome the world. We will not be conquered by the trouble within this world because the One who created us and loves us, has already conquered it! I had to have an epidural injection in my back yesterday. I've had these in the past and they haven't helped my pain. My new doctor wanted me to try them again because Worker's Compensation requires certain "hoops" to be jumped through before they'll approve other treatments. So, even though I didn't really want the injection, I sort of had to go through with it. My pain level has sky-rocketed s

"My people have committed two sins: they have forsaken me, the spring of living water, and have dug their own cisterns, broken cisterns that cannot hold water." Jeremiah 2:13 I am constantly amazed by how alive God's Word is. I have read it cover to cover but it seems like every time I read, I come across a verse that I've never noticed before. That happened today while studying with my friend and mentor, Jane. She shared Jeremiah 2:13 with me. As I read it, it came to life for me. Its a wonderful picture of how God sees us and the sin we're so wrapped up in. This verse has caused me to have an entirely different view of God's attitude toward our sin. When I look at the pictures above my heart breaks, but as much as I hate to see these precious people digging for fresh water, it would be even more disheartening if there was an enormous fountain of clean water right beside them, that they were oblivious to. Jeremiah 2:13 says that we, God