Bring on the Rain!

I fell down my steps about 4 months ago and my foot has been hurting ever since. I've been to 3 different doctors, had 4 sets of x-rays and a CT scan, worn a boot for 9 weeks, and had 2 injections in my foot. And....my foot feels exactly the same. Today the doctor actually said, "You've got me perplexed!" Those of you who know me, are probably thinking...again??? This is what happens with me every time. I can't have an MRI so that leaves the doctors with very limited tests to try to determine what is going on. Which means, it takes a while for them to figure it out. And usually, for a few months at least, they are rubbing their foreheads with very confused looks on their faces.

About 8 years ago I had horrific, lightning bolt headaches in the back of my head. It took probably a year and a half, at least 4 doctors, multiple tests, way too many injections in my head, and finally a specialist at Duke for it to be determined that I have Occipital Neuralagia, which is nerve damage. They have no idea how I got it but somehow I got it and will always have it. God came through for me in a HUGE way with that trial. The doctor at Duke had absolutely NO bedside manner but God used him to perform a miracle for me. He implanted a stimulator in my head that is supposed to be implanted in the back. It wasn't even approved to be used in the head at that time but I was so desperate, I allowed him to do it. I was the youngest woman to have this surgery and the first woman to have a baby (make that 3 babies!!) with this type of implant. My neurostimulator is incredible!  I consider it one of God's greatest gifts to me! When it's turned on, I can't feel the pain at all. When it gets turned off, I have the pain immediately. The only down side....I can't have an MRI.

Because of my inability to have an MRI, it took my doctors a year to figure out what was wrong with my back when I got injured in 2009. As I look back now, if I could have had an MRI, that process would have taken a lot less time but it would have also changed so many things that I now see as such wonderful blessings! If things had not happened exactly the way they did, our lives would be very different now. God used that entire situation to bless our family over and over again! So, as wrong as it sounds to say it, I am thankful that I can't have an MRI and that it took a year for my doctor to find the problems in my back. God used that in so many wonderful ways!

So now, as I sit in the middle of another waiting game with pain, with the doctors feeling perplexed, part of me wants to scream, "NOT AGAIN!" but the other part of me wants to say, "Ok, Lord, let's see what You're gonna do this time!" As I was driving to the foot specialist today, I heard a song on the radio (KLove) that I haven't heard in years. It's called, "Bring on the rain" by Mercy Me. This song was so precious to me during the difficult year and half dealing with occipital neuralgia. To hear that song again, right now, just helped my heart and mind to refocus on the real reason for everything that occurs in our lives...to bring HIM glory! The story of my stimulator and the story of my back injury both give Him so much glory! So, if I have to endure more pain and more uncertainty and more waiting, it's ok, as long as He receives praise and glory!

Today I am grateful for all the ways God has used pain for good in my life in the past. Knowing that He can make something beautiful out of something so painful, gives me hope as I hobble around on this (possibly broken/ripped muscle/ torn ligament) foot of mine. Anyone who endures chronic pain knows that hope is a necessity! I am also thankful that my pain and my perplexed doctors can bring my Father glory. Over the years, endless hours in doctors offices and tests and medications and sleepless nights have taught me so much. I have learned who my Lord truly is and that His comfort and peace are real. I have learned that He really does have good plans for me. He is really is FOR me. I would have never discovered these truths without the pain. So, it's worth it!

 Lord, thank you for the hope You've given me. Please let this pain be worth it. Let Your name be magnified! Bring on the rain!