Crocodile Tears...

Today when I was picking up my kiddos from their classes at MOMS (Mothers of Many Seasons), I decided to pick up Evan first since Tyson's class is closer to the exit. By the time Evan and I got to Tyson's room, many other mommies had already picked up their 2 year olds. Apparently my sweet Tyson thought I wasn't coming and he had the BIGGEST tears streaming down his little face. I'm serious when I say that I almost cried too when I saw his precious face. He was just so sad and it broke my heart. I bent down and scooped him up and squeezed for a long time. Once I was holding him, he was totally fine. He was no longer crying; he wasn't sad. He was safe and happy in my arms. 

I've thought about that tear covered face all day today, and still I feel a tug at my heart when that image comes to my mind. I mean, my kids cry and it doesn't always affect me this way. Honestly, it rarely affects me to this extent to see them cry.  I kept thinking about this all day and I felt like God was using this experience to teach me something about the way He looks at me, one of His children.

When we are broken, scared, and feel all alone, God is there. When we are hurting, He looks at us and His heart breaks because He cares so deeply for us. Just like I looked at my child and my heart filled with love for him and I rushed to him to hold him in my arms...God sees us in our humanness, in our difficulties, in our weariness, and His heart fills will love for us. He isn't angry. He isn't annoyed. He is filled with love for you and for me. He rushes towards us and holds us in His arms, where we are safe and happy (if we choose to be).

When I held my sweet boy his tears stopped and joy increased. He could have chosen to keep crying or to be angry with me or push me away but he didn't. He allowed me to embrace him and he chose to enjoy those moments and be filled with happiness. I want the same for myself....when God embraces me and reminds me that I'm not alone, and offers peace and joy, I need to receive those things. How often do we choose to stay irritated or worried or fearful or sad? When God draws us close to Himself, how often do we push Him away? My desire is to start choosing to stop chasing after my emotions and choose to be filled with joy by my Father. 

"...And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge—that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God." Ephesians 3:17-19

Today I am thankful that God is continuing to teach me and speak to me.  Tyson's crocodile tears broke my heart, the way my tears break the Father's heart. He is using my child to help me grasp His love for me. What an amazing God we have! I am also grateful that Tyson is so comforted by my arms around him. He chooses to no longer be full of sorrow but instead, to be filled with joy....that's such an amazing thought for me! My Heavenly Father is always there. His arms are always outstretched. I can choose to be embraced by Him and let go of the worries and fears and difficulties of life or I can choose to hang on to those things that only drain me. I am grateful for the reminder that the choice is mine.