Strangely Dim

Today, around lunchtime, we received a phone call saying that we would have a house showing this afternoon. We were SOOOO excited! Our house has been for sale for nearly 2 years and we've only had one showing in the past year. I immediately started cleaning and "de-babying" our house. I had done everything but vacuum when the phone rang again.

They cancelled. 

Ugghhh.... huge bummer.... no....wait....that doesn't even begin to describe the level of discouragement I felt.  I was devastated. I plopped on the couch and wallowed in my sadness. I really wanted to cry. This would be aggravating for anyone but for me there is another added level of disappointment. Spending 3 hours cleaning my house causes horrific back pain for me. I was so angry that I had "over done it" and will be in increased pain for days, all for nothing! Plus, having a showing had given me so much hope but the cancellation caused so much doubt. 

While I was sitting on the couch I heard Dylan saying, "look, look, Mitch, look!"  Dylan was reading The Jesus Storybook Bible to our dog, Mitch. He had the book opened to a page that illustrates Jesus on the cross and he was pointing to Jesus saying, "LOOK!" Yes, Dylan was talking to our dog but in that moment, I felt as if God was saying, "Look, Tori, look! Just keep your eyes on me."

So, I made the choice to brush my disappointment off and get up off the couch. I got back to being a mommy and just decided to trust that God has a plan. The irritation of the cancelled showing kept creeping in the throughout the afternoon. On the way to church tonight I heard a new song by Francesca Battistelli called "Strangely Dim." It seems like the theme song for my day. My favorite part says, 

"I don't know why but I've got a front row seat to the longest wait.  I just can't see past the things I pray today. But when I fix my eyes on all You are, then every doubt I feel deep in my heart grows strangely dim."

I think God is trying to tell me something today! I need to stop looking all around me, stop focusing on the circumstances, stop allowing life to get me down, and just fix my eyes on Him! 

Today I am thankful that when I turn my attention to Jesus, the things in this life...the doubt, the fear, and even the disappointments grow strangely dim. Things aren't always gonna go my way. There are so many disappointments in life. But, its ok because when I fix my eyes on Jesus, all of that grows strangely dim. What a blessing that is in the world we live in today!

"And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us,  fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." Hebrews 12: 2-3

For any prayer warriors that might be reading...please add my family and our home to your prayer list. We have an open house this Saturday and we are praying that God will work in a mighty way, sending the perfect buyer to visit our home. Of course we want it to sell and want to buy a new home but there are also some other major concerns involved as well. Thank you!