Sometimes God's favor doesnt' feel like favor at all.

It has become a Christmas tradition for my oldest son and I to watch The Nativity together. Last night, as we watched the movie, a line that I've heard hundreds of times before jumped out of me. Mary was just going about daily life when an angel of the Lord appeared to hear. Luke 1:30 says, "And he came to her and said, 'Greetings, O favored one, the Lord is with you!'”

That verse is one that I am very familiar with, but it hit me differently last night. The angel was sent to explain that God had chosen Mary to give birth to the Messiah, whom the world had been waiting for. The words that followed that verse say that Mary was greatly troubled, trying to discern what was meant by the greeting. Last night, I put myself in Mary's place for a few moments and thought about how she must have felt.

Historians believe that Mary was most likely a young teenager when the angel appeared to her, no older than 15, since she was betrothed to Joesph and that custom occurred in the early teenage years. Can you imagine seeing and hearing an angel tell you that you have found favor with God, and then proceed to tell you that you would give birth to a child as a teenager, even though you had never been with a man? It's no wonder the angel started his next sentence with, "Do not be afraid!"

Mary listened as the angel said to her, “Do not be afraid, Mary, for you have found favor with God. And behold, you will conceive in your womb and bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus." (Luke 1:30-31) and then she asked how it could be possible since she was a virgin. The angel explained it all to her and then, without any other questions, debating, or wavering, Mary said, "Behold, I am the servant of the Lord; let it be to me according to your word.” (Luke 1:38) Even though it all sounded outlandish, and she was terrified, Mary believed what the angel had said, and she willingly accepted this "favor" the Lord was bestowing upon her. 

The months that followed would not be easy for her though. She was scared and ran to Elizabeth's home for a few months. Upon her return, she had to face her family and husband-to-be, explaining why she was pregnant. They probably thought she was either crazy or lying, or both. The angel appeared to Joseph too, to clear up his misconceptions about the situation, but that wouldn't quiet the rumors and stares from those in her community as the unwed teenage mother's belly grew.  Then toward the end of her pregnancy, a census is called, forcing her to travel a long distance by foot, or on a donkey, although the scriptures do not say so specifically. 

To top it off, when she went into labor there were no quiet, peaceful rooms available since Bethlehem was filled with those who had returned for the census. Scholars debate on where Mary actually gave birth, but we can assume her "birth plan" didn't play out as she envisioned. She even had use a feeding trough to lay him in.

Through a dream God warned Joseph that King Herod was out to kill Jesus, so they had to urgently flee to Egypt with a young child. Everyone knows traveling with young children isn't easy, but imagine having no plan or idea about where you're going or how to protect your child, who is also the Son of God? She must have felt so much pressure but also great fear for her child's life. 

We know very little about the years that followed except that at one point Mary couldn't find Jesus. I've known the fear of suddenly realizing your child is nowhere to be seen. The panic that fills a mother's heart is like none other, but Mary had lost the Messiah. She must have been riddled with fear and probably scolded herself repeatedly.

Then, when Jesus was an adult, Mary had to watch her son endure a horrific death even though he, quite literally, had done nothing wrong. She was by His side the entire time, never walking away because it was too hard to watch. Her love for him was so great, nothing could tear her away. She knew who her Son was, but watching it all unfold must have been traumatizing to say the least. 

As we look back on history, its easy to see how being chosen as Jesus’ mother was a beautiful gift to Mary and it’s clear that she was truly favored by God. But in the middle of it all, I wonder if Mary felt favored. She traveled a difficult path. Even though it was all necessary and ended up being the beautiful story of redemption for all mankind, it was still messy, painful, emotional, and complicated.

As I considered all of this, I realized, sometimes God’s favor, doesn’t feel like favor at all.

Clearly God bestowed favor upon Mary when He chose her, but that didn’t mean He gave her an easy, pain-free life. The truth is, His favor on her life, brought a lot of difficulty. The same is true for us. God has good, good plans for those who love Him, but that doesn’t mean He those plans will always feel good. God’s favor cannot be measured by comfort, material blessings, health, or ease.

We mustn’t let the hardships of life or the troubles we face cause us to doubt God’s favor upon us. Many times, its His favor that brings the unknowns and the burdens, because making a difference in this world is no easy task. We can trust Him, however, to guide us and walk beside us as we experience His favor, even when it doesn’t feel like favor at all.

Tori