Infused with Hope

After almost 3 months of waiting on forms to be filled out and calls to be made and approvals to be granted, I was finally able to start infusion therapy last week. This medication is a type of Chemotherapy that will hopefully help relieve the symptoms I suffer with because of Ankylosing Spondylitis. It will also help to slow the progression of the disease. 

It took a few hours to infuse the drug into my body and it took about 3 days to recover from the infusion. I slept on and off for 72 hours. I will be getting infusions every 2 weeks for a while and then I'll move to every 4-6 weeks for the foreseeable future. My doctor expects that I will start feeling some relief after a few infusions. I'm hopeful that my body will respond well and this drug will help me for many years. For many, this drug is like being infused with hope. 

As I've gotten accustomed to this diagnosis and all that comes with it, I have also been apart of several AS facebook groups. I've seen so many desperate posts, cries for help, and even notifications of AS warriors that have taken their own lives. Ankylosing Spondylitis is a dreadful disease. 

Everyone knows that cancer destroys a body and therefore chemo and other medications are used to fight it. The same is true with AS. Our bodies are destroying ourselves. We use chemo and other drugs to fight our own immune systems. While so many cancer patients enter remission and go on to live normal lives, that is not the case for AS patients. We will deal with this disease as long as we live. We are in pain daily with no end in sight. Sometimes medications help, sometimes they don't. It can be a terribly scary future to gaze upon. 

So many fellow warriors are unable to get the medications they need or have been unable to find a medication that is successful. Others have recently had their pain medications reduced or taken away because of the misuse and abuse of the drugs by some. There are others still who have no access to a doctor in their country at all.

These posts are heartbreaking. The desperation, pain, sadness, loneliness, fear, hopelessness, and discouragement are almost tangible. As I read posts like this day after day, I can't help but utter praises of gratitude for the blessings I have even in this terrible diagnosis. I have doctors, medications, infusions, heating pads, supportive shoes, ice packs, a nice bed to try and sleep in, and a family that cares about me and want to help me. There are so many whose families don't even take their condition seriously or who have left them because they're "too needy." 

I know one of the reasons God has allowed AS into my life is so I might share His love and hope to so many who are hopeless. My prayer is that He will use me to encourage even one person! I'm asking each of you, please pray for my fellow AS warriors. Pray that God would allow them to sense His presence and feel His comfort. Pray that doors would open for them to see doctors and have medications. Pray that supportive, caring folks would enter their lives and show them value. Pray that the pain wouldn't get so bad that suicide seems like the better option. 

I have been made the admin in one of these AS groups and I go live once a week to share encouragement and speak LIFE over ladies from across the country. 3 months ago there were 130 people in the group. Today, there are 303! I have not done anything to bring people into the group. They are just requesting to join! 303 people are hearing the Word of God each week through this simple facebook group. A few got mad at me for sharing but others have sent me the sweetest messages letting me know how much they've been encouraged and asking me to pray for them and assuring me that God is using me. Please pray that I will be sensitive to what God wants me to share and that this group will be a ray of hope in their dark worlds.

Today I am grateful for the gift of doctors, medications, and tools to help me with my pain. When so many others don't have access to these things, it causes me to realize what a blessing these things are. I am also thankful for the ability to share hope with other women fighting this awful disease. I am humbled by the opportunity to do so and so thankful for ability to help others who are suffering.