A Life of Gratitude

It has become a Christmas tradition for my oldest son and I to watch  The Nativity  together. Last night, as we watched the movie, a line that I've heard hundreds of times before jumped out of me. Mary was just going about daily life when an angel of the Lord appeared to hear. Luke 1:30 says, " And he came to her and said, 'Greetings, O favored one, the Lord is with you!'” That verse is one that I am very familiar with, but it hit me differently last night. The angel was sent to explain that God had chosen Mary to give birth to the Messiah, whom the world had been waiting for. The words that followed that verse say that Mary was greatly troubled, trying to discern what was meant by the greeting. Last night, I put myself in Mary's place for a few moments and thought about how she must have felt. Historians believe that Mary was most likely a young teenager when the angel appeared to her, no older than 15, since she was betrothed to Joesph and that custom occurre

As I snuggle up in a quilt that was handmade by my great grandmother, I've been tracing the lines of the quilt with my eyes and thinking about the woman who took the time to handstitch each and every piece of fabric together. She put great thought into the color scheme, the measurements, and the design. I wonder how long it took her to make. I wonder if she ever dreamed her great great grandchildren would use it one day. I don't remember her. I think she died before I was born or soon after. I wish I knew more about her. As I sit beneath her beautiful artwork, warmed by all of her hard work, I wonder what she thought about as she sewed the pieces together. Was she filled with joy? Heartbroken? Grateful? Weary? How old was she when she crafted this blanket? Was it made as a gift or for practical use in her home? What had she been through? What had she overcome? What were her greatest joys? What were her greatest regrets? My eyes well up with tears as I type this because I am rem

There's nothing like the holiday season to cause a woman to become painfully aware of her inadequacies. In addition to all of our normal tasks, we add in shopping, decorating, hosting events, baking, attending special programs, wrapping tons of presents, making crafts, sending out Christmas cards, planning fun activities to make the season magical, and trying to keep everyone focused on the real reason we celebrate Christmas. There are also countless other things we may be dealing with, depending on the circumstances of our lives. Some of us have lost a loved one or are enduring a difficult financial situation. Some are trying to heal relationships or going through a divorce. Some of us have physcial aliments or are taking care of a sick a family member. Some are being treated poorly by others or trying to navigate a new season of life. The situations we face are numerous and cannot typically be put on hold during the holidays. This morning, as I was looking at my to-do list, searc

Recently I was reminded of many terrible memories from my childhood. I've been forced to walk back through my memories, and try to make sense of some things the 5-9 year old version of me simply couldn't make sense of. I have forgiven the people who made my childhood so hard and have a great deal of gratitude for the ways God has restored those relationships, but to be frank, those memories still hurt. I think many of us believe if we've forgiven someone and we've moved past a situation, the heartbreak will automatically disappear. It's not true, however, because heling is a journey, not a destination.  The memories I've been reliving and trying to muddle through have caused me to took look back at the little girl version of myself with so much compassion and saddness. No one should have to endure what I've lived. I don't think I've ever really thought about how much those years impacted the years that would follow. It has given me a new perspective