A Life of Gratitude

It has become a Christmas tradition for my oldest son and I to watch  The Nativity  together. Last night, as we watched the movie, a line that I've heard hundreds of times before jumped out of me. Mary was just going about daily life when an angel of the Lord appeared to hear. Luke 1:30 says, " And he came to her and said, 'Greetings, O favored one, the Lord is with you!'” That verse is one that I am very familiar with, but it hit me differently last night. The angel was sent to explain that God had chosen Mary to give birth to the Messiah, whom the world had been waiting for. The words that followed that verse say that Mary was greatly troubled, trying to discern what was meant by the greeting. Last night, I put myself in Mary's place for a few moments and thought about how she must have felt. Historians believe that Mary was most likely a young teenager when the angel appeared to her, no older than 15, since she was betrothed to Joesph and that custom occurre

As I snuggle up in a quilt that was handmade by my great grandmother, I've been tracing the lines of the quilt with my eyes and thinking about the woman who took the time to handstitch each and every piece of fabric together. She put great thought into the color scheme, the measurements, and the design. I wonder how long it took her to make. I wonder if she ever dreamed her great great grandchildren would use it one day. I don't remember her. I think she died before I was born or soon after. I wish I knew more about her. As I sit beneath her beautiful artwork, warmed by all of her hard work, I wonder what she thought about as she sewed the pieces together. Was she filled with joy? Heartbroken? Grateful? Weary? How old was she when she crafted this blanket? Was it made as a gift or for practical use in her home? What had she been through? What had she overcome? What were her greatest joys? What were her greatest regrets? My eyes well up with tears as I type this because I am rem

There's nothing like the holiday season to cause a woman to become painfully aware of her inadequacies. In addition to all of our normal tasks, we add in shopping, decorating, hosting events, baking, attending special programs, wrapping tons of presents, making crafts, sending out Christmas cards, planning fun activities to make the season magical, and trying to keep everyone focused on the real reason we celebrate Christmas. There are also countless other things we may be dealing with, depending on the circumstances of our lives. Some of us have lost a loved one or are enduring a difficult financial situation. Some are trying to heal relationships or going through a divorce. Some of us have physcial aliments or are taking care of a sick a family member. Some are being treated poorly by others or trying to navigate a new season of life. The situations we face are numerous and cannot typically be put on hold during the holidays. This morning, as I was looking at my to-do list, searc

Recently I was reminded of many terrible memories from my childhood. I've been forced to walk back through my memories, and try to make sense of some things the 5-9 year old version of me simply couldn't make sense of. I have forgiven the people who made my childhood so hard and have a great deal of gratitude for the ways God has restored those relationships, but to be frank, those memories still hurt. I think many of us believe if we've forgiven someone and we've moved past a situation, the heartbreak will automatically disappear. It's not true, however, because heling is a journey, not a destination.  The memories I've been reliving and trying to muddle through have caused me to took look back at the little girl version of myself with so much compassion and saddness. No one should have to endure what I've lived. I don't think I've ever really thought about how much those years impacted the years that would follow. It has given me a new perspective

  John 17: 11-19 (TPT) Jesus traveled on toward Jerusalem and passed through the border region between Samaria and Galilee. As he entered one village, ten men approached him, but they kept their distance, for they were lepers. They shouted to him, “Mighty Lord, our wonderful Master! Won’t you have mercy on us and heal us?” When Jesus stopped to look at them, he spoke these words: “Go to be examined by the Jewish priests.” They set off, and they were healed while walking along the way. One of them, a foreigner from Samaria, when he discovered that he was completely healed, turned back to find Jesus, shouting out joyous praises and glorifying God. When he found Jesus, he fell down at his feet and thanked him over and over, saying to him, “You are the Messiah.” This man was a Samaritan. “So where are the other nine?” Jesus asked. “Weren’t there ten who were healed? They all refused to return to give thanks and give glory to God except you, a foreigner from Samaria?” Then Jesus said to the

   I've been using the same Bible since 2000 when my church gifted it to me as a high school graduation gift. Well, to be honest, I didn't open it for several of those years, but it's been used almost daily for the past 15 years or so. I've been replacing my Bible because this one has meant so much to me. It is literally falling apart and been taped together too many times to count, but it also has so many little notes in it, high-lighted verses, and dates of when I've prayed specific vereses and my prayers were answered.  I found out that a new Bible I've had "my eye on" was on sale for only $10 (normally $60!) so I decided it was time to make the change. I've had the new Bible for a few weeks but hadn't been able to make the switch yet. This morning, I took my old Bible out of my bag and replaced it with the new one. I knew I had been delaying making the switch but I had no idea how this would affect me.  I looked at my old Bible, so tattered

My daughter often says she has a question for me but typcially, it isn't an actual question. Lately I've been trying to teach her what is and what is not a question. So this morning, while driving in the car, she said, "Mom, I have just one answer for you."  I responded by saying, "Ok, tell me." She said, "If you pray and God doesn't answer your prayer right away, do you think you should still trust Him?" I was delightfully surprised by her "answer" and said, "Yes, I think we should."  Then she replied excitedly, "That's right, you should always trust God because He knows things we don't know." My heart smiled with joy because that's a hard truth for a five year old to grasp for herself, let alone share with others, but I was also touched by her words because they were a reminder that I needed to hear.  I don't question God's willingness to hear my prayers or His ability to come through for me,

The other day, while getting my nails done, I watched a TV program telling' about the first man to run from the North Pole to the South Pole. Hearing that got my attention because I've never even thought about such a thing! I didn't know running that far is physically possible. Then they said he was 48 years old when he accomplished this record, which blew my mind. I just turned 40 and I don't want to run to the mailbox!  Pat Farmer is the first man to run from pole to pole, which is over 13,000 miles. He dedicated this amazing feat to bringing awareness and raising money for Red Cross water and sanitation projects. He said during the most difficult moments of the run he would think of people less fortunate than himself and it kept him going.  The epic run took 10 months and 22 pairs of shoes. During the interview he said there wasn't one easy day but it was all worth it.  A quote on his website reads, "The fact that I’m still on this planet makes me feel that

Yesterday I went to the movie theater to watch Lifemark with my husband and oldest son. It’s a beautiful movie, depicting a true adoption story. I encourage everyone to see the film, but as I watched it, my heart was torn in two. Like the birth mother in the movie, I was a teenager when I discovered I was pregnant. Like her, I felt hopeless and ended up at the abortion clinic. Like her, I put on the dingy white gown and laid on the table as the doctor rolled the stool close to me. But unlike her, I stayed on the table. Unlike her, I didn’t have the courage to get up. Unlike her, I let the abortionist rip my baby from womb. I’ve spent a lot of time over the years thinking about my baby, wondering what life would have been like if I had chosen to keep her, but for some reason I’ve never really thought about what life would be like if I had chosen adoption. Lifemark caused a flood of thoughts and emotions to wash over me as I considered how my baby could have been a blessing to so m

Today is my 40th birthday.  I've never cared much about my age. I've always viewed it as the number of years since I was born, plain and simple. But for some reason, FORTY hits different. Maybe its because now I'm considered "middle-aged" or because I used to think forty was old. Maybe its because its time for my first mammogram. Or maybe its because I remember my mom turning forty, which is around the same time my parents got divorced.  In the weeks proceeding this milestone birthday, Proverbs 31:25b has repeatedly popped in my head.  "She laughs without fear of the future." This verse is talking about the infamous "Proverbs 31 Woman," who is the perfect example of a wife and mother who lives her life in a remarkable way. She is a virtuous woman who takes care of herself and others, has her priorities in order, works hard, and does many wonderful deeds. Most importantly, she lives her entire life with the desire to honor and serve the Lord.  A

Several weeks ago we discovered a leak in our basement. After a few different plumbers checked out the problem, it was discovered that there was a tremendous amount of black mold under the floor in our son's room and in the basement's bathroom. There was even mold growing up the walls, behind the cabinets and shower. As the problem was assessed, we realized this issue started years and years ago and had gone undetected by the previous owners. The issue was most likely caused by some lazy remodeling work and has been negatively affecting everyone who has lived in the house since.  It was determined that the entire bathroom had to be demolished, as well as the flooring and half of the walls in my son's room. This was the only course of action that would correct this issue and ensure there would be no future damage. Throughout those weeks I had been studying generational curses. As I studied and watched the basement issue unfold, I couldn't get past the parallels. Whether

"For you are a people holy to the LORD your God, and the LORD has chosen you to be a people for his treasured possession" Deuteronomy 14:2 We all make choices each and every day. Some are good, some are not so good. We are affected by our own choices, but also by the choices of others. It's common for us to allow our past choices to hold us down in shame. It's also tempting  to allow the way others choose to view us, or what they say about us, to define us. Sometimes we even choose to beleive the worst about ourselves and treat ourselves poorly. Today, I believe God wants to remind us that we are chosen by Him and His opinion is the only One that truly matters. Our identity is determined by God, and Him alone. We are His treasured possession. The word possession in Hebrew is Segullah. It means much more than the word possession as we know it. Segullah meant the possession was cherished and adored. So Deuteronomy 14:2 expresses God's feelings towards us as His tre

Imagine being paralyzed, lying beside a pool that supposedly had healing powers, along with crowds of others who were blind or sick, for thirty-eight years, just hoping to make into the pool at the correct moment. That is exactly what the Bible describes in John 5, as we see a paralytic man lying beside the pool of Bethesda in Jerusalem. John 5:6-9 (NLT) says, "When Jesus saw him and knew he had been ill for a long time, He asked him, 'Would you like to get well?' 'I can’t, sir,' the sick man said, 'for I have no one to put me into the pool when the water bubbles up. Someone else always gets there ahead of me.' Jesus told him, 'Stand up, pick up your mat, and walk!' Instantly the man was healed! He rolled up his sleeping mat and began walking!" I love that Jesus not only healed the man and told him to get up, He also told him to carry his mat and the man immediately did it! Anyone that saw the healed man walking around would know, because of

I've spent a lot of time lately contemplating the many people I know that are dealing with very difficult situations. Whether its financial concerns, marital problems, illness, rejection, loss of a loved one, or another uncertainity of life, it feels like everyone is hurting or dealing with something extremely hard.  I was praying for some specific friends this morning when it occurred to me, maybe hardships are actually a gift that allow us to discover who God really is and how He really feels about us.  We would never know God as our Healer if we never needed healing. We would never know Him as our Comforter, if we never needed to be comforted. We would never know Him as our Sustainer, if we never felt like we felt like we were falling apart. We would never know Him as our Provider, if we were never in need of anything. We would never know Him as our Strength, if we were never burdened and weak. We would never know Him as our Father, if we never needed Him to take care of us.  We

Every Friday morning I take my kids to my mom's house so I can spend the day at the Not Forgotten Ministries' office. Allison typically packs a couple of bags of toys to bring along. This morning, as we were driving, there was a consistent murmuring from one of the toys in her bag. As a mom of four, I have learned to tune out most of the toy noises, so I barely noticed the sound creeping from the bag. Several minutes into the drive Allison said, "Mom, just ignore Olaf. He doesn't know when to be quiet." I laughed and agreed with her; but her comment drew my attention to what Olaf was saying. Mostly he repeats the same couple of phrases like, "Hi! You look beautiful," and something about a cute unicorn. There's also some incomprehensible gibberish, as well as various giggles. While we waited at a a drive-thru for coffee, I looked over at Olaf. It felt as if that goofy stuffed animal was looking straight at me. Then he said, "You're stronger

I've never cared much about gardening but for some reason, since we moved into our new home, I've really enjoyed working in the yard. God has been using the plants and weeds to teach me so many things. This weekend as I was looking at one of our rose bushes, I kept thinking about how beautiful it had been a month ago, and I was sadden by how ugly, messy, and unkempt it looked now. I also noticed how many old dead flowers were hanging on it.  As I looked at all those old fading petals and brown buds, I heard God say, "Dead things are heavy." I thought about that for a moment and then decided to trim away the old dead stuff.  Some of the buds still had color, so from a distance they were masquerading as healthy roses. Others were brown and dried up but remained attached to the branch. Some of the branches had no buds at all but were laying on the ground because the dead buds around it were too heavy. There had been other plants near the rose bush that had been unabl