Alone in the Hospital

Over the past few weeks I've been dealing with a lot of pelvic pain. Last Friday, my doctor decided it was time to remove the golf-ball sized ovarian cyst that was most likely causing my pain. She also planned to remove my left ovary and fallopian tube. Because of COVID-19 no visitors or family members are allowed in the hospital. So, I had to go through the experience without anyone there to support me. I didn't think it would bother me too much until I had to walk into the hospital alone, waving goodbye to my children and husband. It was a incredibly difficult. I just wanted to run back and get in the van with them. But, thankfully, God gave me the strength to keep going. 

As I waited on the nurses to take me to the operating room, I couldn't shake the eeriness of a hospital being so empty and quiet. Everyone there was either having surgery or performing surgery. There were no spouses holding hands, no Pastors praying over patients, and no moms whispering gently to their child. Everyone was alone in their little rooms just waiting to be taken back. I prayed for each person there and for may family as they awaited news about my procedure.  Suddenly, I felt a complete peace wash over me. I may have been alone physically but I could feel God's presence in that room, reminding me that I am never alone, no matter what the circumstances appear to be. 

After spending some time in the recovery room, I was taken to my hospital room. The anesthesia started wearing off and I realized how lonely I was. I drifted in and out of sleep and ordered food from the cafeteria. I had to call the nurses numerous times to ask for help for the simplest little things like dropping my fork or reaching a straw. I felt helpless and sad and didn't want to be a bother.

The pain increased and I couldn't find a comfortable position to lay in. Hours went by with only moments of sleep because of the overwhelming pain. I asked for prayer in a facebook post at 2:00am. Within ten minutes, at least twelve people had commented on that post, saying they were praying for me. Within an hour, twenty people had commented. I realized that even when I feel alone and even in the middle of the night, the body of Christ is "there" too. We may not be able to see one another face to face, but the children of God will always be available and willing to pray and encourage one another. Knowing that others were out there, lifting me up to the Father, blessed my heart tremendously.

That entire night was filled with pain because the nurses were unable to reach the doctor to ask about changing me pain medication. The nurses went above and beyond, however, to help me feel better. They made homemade heating pads, homemade drink concoctions to settle my stomach, and walked with me around the fifth floor. As I walked with precious CNA, Kathy, we talked about Jesus and our desperate need for Him. I was able to encourage her and she was able to comfort me. It was such a beautiful exchange with a sister-in-Christ that I would have never met otherwise. When we returned to the room, Kathy explained that our time together had been an answer to prayer and that our discussion had blessed her. I was amazed by how God put us together, in the middle of the night, so that we could be a blessing to each other. 

The next day the doctor changed my medication which helped tremendously. I was able to finally relax and rest. I slept until lunchtime. In the afternoon I was able to color and write in the faith journal that I'd never had time to write in. I watched a few Netflix shows and napped periodically. It was restful day. I missed my family so much but God was allowing me to get the rest I needed, which was a very sweet gift. 

I was able to come home on Sunday. Having the wheel chair pull up next to our van was so special. My kids were thrilled to see me and my eyes filled with tears again, because of their concern for me. I never imagined recovering from a surgery alone in a hospital because of a pandemic. I wouldn't wish it on anyone because it was an odd, difficult experience. But today, I am grateful for the many ways God showed me His love and comfort when I was away from my family. I was so very aware of His presence and His work; not only in my situation, but also using my alone time there to be a blessing to others. 

Today I am grateful that I wasn't alone, not even for one minute. And when I felt alone, God was quick to remind me of His presence and the love of my brothers and sisters in Christ. He placed the right nurses in my path and gave my doctors wisdom to help me through this experience. He gave me peace and rest and then brought me home to be loved on by my family. He provided friends and family members that prayed for us and have signed up to bring us meals so I don't have to cook while I'm recovering. Having surgery and being hospitalized wasn't what I wanted or how I would have planned it but I consider this situation a blessing because I was given the opportunity to experience God's love and provision in new, beautiful ways.