What In The World Are We Doing?

As a post-abortive woman, I feel like I have to speak up! 

The law passed in New York yesterday legalizing full term abortions has stirred up all kinds of emotions in me. As I've been thinking and praying about this issue, I can't help but wonder how heartbreaking this must be for our Father and Creator. He has breathed life into each and every child ever conceived and humans think they have the right to take that life. 

Who do we think we are?

Two out of four of my babies were born at exactly 37 weeks, which is considered full term.  Take a look at this photo of one of my sweet boys only minutes after he was born. Does anyone actually believe he wasn't alive the day before? 

No, no one truly believes that. 

And actually, I have several more questions.

•  If someone kills a pregnant woman, at any point in her pregnancy, they will be charged with 2 counts of murder. Is it really okay for her to choose to kill her baby at 36 weeks, but if someone else kills the baby, its murder? 
• Why is it illegal to destroy a Bald Eagle egg but totally fine to destroy an unborn human? The law states that if someone destroys an egg, they will be charged as if they killed an adult Bald Eagle. That sentence is 3 years imprisonment and a fine of  $5,000. Why in the world do folks consider an egg, laying in a nest, more valuable and alive than a baby in a womb?          
• Do people understand what really happens during a late or full-term abortion? The physician will inject the baby with a deadly dose of medication directly in the baby's heart or base of the skull so the baby passes away as the mother carries it over the next 24 hours. The doctor will check to see if the baby has expired and if not, they will administer another injection. All the while, the baby is suffering and dying and feeling every bit of it because the nervous system started developing 16 days after conception. Once the baby is deemed dead, the doctor induces labor and the mother has to deliver the baby anyway! Can you imagine choosing to deliver a dead child instead of delivering a live child and giving it to a family who desperately wants to adopt? It shouldn't be allowed!

I was 16 years old when I had an abortion. I honestly have no clue how far along I was because the ultrasound technician did not allow me to see the ultrasound or tell me anything about the baby. I was naive and young and scared to death. I just wanted to get my "normal" back as quickly as possible. I will always wonder what would have happened if even one person had explained what abortion really involved or let me hear the heartbeat. Following the abortion, I tried to pretend like nothing ever happened and I never told anyone about it. I didn't even talk about it with the people who knew.  I was so ashamed and filled with guilt. I hid my story for 17 years, believing that I would go to my grave with that secret. I remember it so clearly, the darkness and fear and self-loathing. I have since found such beautiful freedom because of the forgiveness Jesus bestowed upon me. I now desire to be transparent with my story so that others will better understand what truly occurs to baby and mother during and after an abortion. The weight of abortion never fully evaporates. I can't imagine how much greater that weight might be if I had felt the baby kick and move or watched my belly grow. Abortions do not only destroy an unborn child. They destroy the mothers, too. And only Jesus can restore destruction like that!

I do have one more question.....

Why do people seem to care so much more about abortion today than they did last week? Whether the mother has been pregnant for 6 weeks, 16 weeks, or 36 weeks, abortion is murder. There is an uproar over the law passed in New York (a well-deserved uproar, I might add) but seriously, we should all be this irate every day!

Take a look at these precious children God has so graciously given me even though I ended the life of my first child when I was 16. These babies were just as alive in my womb as they were in the other pictures. Who are we to say otherwise?

When I think about the depravity of our country, I can't help but recall so many stories in the Bible. God repeatedly poured His wrath out upon nations that turned away from Him; but not before giving them many opportunities to repent and turn back to Him. In some cases, they would change their ways and He decided against destroying them. 

Our country is headed in a very dangerous, corrupt direction. We are quite obviously turning away from God. I could make a list of ways we are doing so but there is one that stands above the rest. Exodus 20:3 says, "You shall have no other gods before me." Abortion, at any stage of pregnancy, is the perfect example. We are worshiping the gods of convenience and self-preservation. Not to mention, the gods of sex and pleasure, regardless of the consequences. Not only have our leaders purposefully pushed God out of our government and schools and written laws to legalize the murder of our young, but they're proud of it too, as seen in the photo below. I honestly wouldn't be surprised if God began pouring out His wrath on America right now. 

Today I am thankful for the grace and forgiveness Jesus has freely given me even though I made a terrible decision at 16 years old. I will always regret that choice and wish things were different but I no longer walk in bondage and shame. Instead, I walk in freedom and I'm full of joy!  I am also grateful that if we, as a country, humble ourselves and pray, seek God's face and turn from our evil ways, He will hear our prayers, forgive us, and heal our land. (2 Chronicles 7:14) There is still hope, even though we deserve none.