When things don't go our way...

Lately our 4 year old has added a new layer to his temper tantrums. When he doesn't get what he wants or has to do something he doesn't want to do, he starts yelling, "Mommy doesn't love me." Nothing could be farther from the truth but it hurts so much to hear him say that. I love that boy more than words could ever express and my wanting him to clean up his legos doesn't change that! 

Every time this happens I sit him down and hug him and tell him how much I love him and try to understand what would make him think that. I've realized that its just his way of lashing out because he's angry, since things aren't going his way. As I was talking with him earlier today I heard God say to me, "Don't you do the same thing to me?"

Uhhhh, I hate to admit it but y.e.s.

When things don't go my way, even though I don't yell out in anger, I often react in the same way my 4 year old has been.  Part of me starts to wonder why God has allowed these things. Which ultimately boils down to doubt in His love for me. I know that He knows what is best and that I only see a small portion of the picture but in those moments of disappointment, my doubt in His love is exposed.

I read the devotional above during my quiet time yesterday and its been on my mind ever since. Now, I know why...it goes perfectly with what God revealed to me earlier today (about the doubt that creeps in my heart). It says, "What's amazing about this processes that in the searching and the seeking you don't just end up with guidance, you end up knowing the Guide. That's the point."

The process that is referred to in that quote is talking about the ups and downs of life, the disappointing times, the difficulties. During those moments we can either shut down and get angry and start to doubt OR we can search and seek after God. We can ask Him for guidance through the storm and once we're able to look back, we realize how much we've learned about Him and His great love for us.

It still isn't easy. It's hard. It doesn't always make sense. 

But our God is a personal God. He is using every single circumstance to draw us closer to Himself, which is the point! We don't want to meander through this life and miss the whole point, do we? Just like my rule against eating cookies for breakfast doesn't mean that I don't love my sweet boy, God allowing the storms of life doesn't mean He doesn't love us. In fact, just like us mommies and daddies, God is doing what is best for us even though we can't understand that at that time.

Today I am thankful that God not only guides us through this life, He also knows us intimately and desires for us to truly know Him as well. He uses whatever life throws at us to draw us closer to Himself. You know what that means? There is purpose in the pain. There is good that comes from suffering. And His love for us never changes! I am so grateful for that today!